Jose Mourinho Is Not Nice

I've dropped the ball on my predictions, but I frankly don't care. How could I care with weather this superbly beautiful?

I did get to watch my first MLS match of the season last night, although I'm not sure how much of a privilege it was to see the biggest toddler blubbering because the ref didn't card him for diving (I refer, of course, to Ruiz of the Burning Hoops). Since Dallas is our league-mandated rivalry, it was nice to see them lose, but I don't like the smell of wealth which currently hangs about the dried bones of the MetroStars, so it was ultimately a disappointing affair. (Is anyone else worried that the big markets are trying to model themselves after Chelski? I don't know why I even asked that because everyone is worried about that.)

Here's my one prediction for the week: The Fire will win at Houston. This is mostly because, with the exception of the very well-run Red Bulls, no team in the league realizes that the purpose of the DP spot was to get Beckham over here and then be able to afford some excellent talent. Joseph and DeRo are that excellent talent which is supposed to be afforded, but until the league stops misunderstanding the new rule as a way to get stars into MLS and starts understanding it as a way to keep talent in the league, the Fire will coast to second in the East (as mentioned above, the Red Bulls understaaaaaaand).

With that in mind, I will offer some predictions for the season:

East:
Red Bulls
Fire
DC (defense will hurt them)
KC
Revs (Joseph will hurt them)
Columbus
Toronno

West:
LA
Chivas
Crapids
Dallas
Houston (DeRo will hurt them)
Real Madrid (Checketts will hurt them)

Playoffs:
Red Bulls
Fire
LA
Chivas
DC
KC
Crapids
Revs
with Red Bulls, LA, or Fire winning

Open Cup:
Fire

Red Bulls will win the Supporters' Shield

MVP:
Me, after a midseason signing with the Fire

I know I don't play, but my big day has to come sometime and I really can't be bothered to think at all, because it's nice outside, my back is only mildly uncomfortable, and I feel like ruining all the gains I've made in the past few weeks with some ill-advised soccer practice.

Muhalo.